WM Post #2

I think I hate myself.

Wait, let me back up and tell a funny story before I explain what I did this time. On Saturday night, as I was typing wildly away, I noticed a little black spider running around on my desk. I said "Aww, hi there little guy" and went on typing. (Which raises more doubts about my relation to my mother than any other part of my personality. My mom hates spiders. She makes the Nazis and the Jews look mildly unfriendly. Thanks to a few peace negotiations though, she now lets me carry them out of the house on an index card instead of killing them outright. Unless they get in her tub. If you're a spider: don't go in our bathtub. You will never return alive. You will join the smeared spiders in the sky.)

Anyway, there was a spider on my desk. And it decided that it wanted more attention, so it jumped down onto my keyboard. When I swatted at it, it hid inside the keys. It didn't seem like such a cute spider anymore.

So I got out two pens and kept typing, chopstick style. Because I had a great idea about what my character should say next. (Don't ask me if the spider is still there. I'm pretending that it's not.)

So anyway, why I hate myself. I brought in a new character today. I thought I was resurrecting her from an old story, but as I introduced her, I added a twist to her previous abilities. And I kid you not, I only discovered the ramifications of this as I typed. I had no idea I was doing that to her. Now she's got a super power (sort of) that she can't control, so she kills people by accident, when she gets mad or sad or otherwise overly emotional, or even just when she has nightmares. So she hates herself; and it's not the cute and cuddly version of self-loathing most characters have. And since I love her, and I did this to her, I hate myself. And she's such a great character! She's funny, kind of sarcastic, a pessimist (with reason), and distrusts prophecies on principle. Which, since she's being dragged along on a quest centered around a prophecy of a dead King rising again (there seem to be a lot of zombies and ghosts in this story), is kind of problematic.

I don't know if I can pull a happy ending out of this.

And I'm up to 35,000 words. Missing half a day with church shot my words-a-day schedule in the foot.