Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Creepy.... Thing

Mr. Nood began young in life with an allergy to cotton. His mother couldn't keep him dressed without resorting to duct tape, and when she did so, he would scream bloody murder.

By the time Mr. Nood reached high school, he was following his relatively chaste role model, the generic man on the front of every commercial romance. He suffered pants, but refused anything resembling a shirt. This led to a certain amount of scorn and disgust from his peers, so Mr. Nood began to spend six hours a day in the gym. People don't mind if you have philosophical objections to clothing as long as you are seriously ripped.

Mr. Nood went to college in Hawaii, and his three years there were the happiest of his life. No one looks at you twice if you wear swim trunks all day long in Hawaii. He was expelled just before graduation for public indecency.

Mr. Nood went on to work as a temp, modeling for broke artists who couldn't afford a professional and for beer commercials. When he had saved enough money, Mr. Nood joined a nudist colony, where he found his spiritual leader, Father Birthday.

Father Birthday gently chastised Mr. Nood for his shame of his allergy/spiritual alignment. Slowly, Mr. Nood found the courage to reject all clothing all together, and even to reject his desire for public appreciation. The ancient Greeks believed the human body is the most beautiful form in the world, Father Birthday pointed out. If you have respect for beauty, than hiding it is surely a sin.

After Father Birthday absconded from the nudist colony with all the membership dues, Mr. Nood found himself lost in life, without direction. He threw himself into modeling, turning his disadvantage into a vocation.

After battling depression for years, Mr. Nood decided to commit himself to his ideal for all time. He killed himself, leaving instructions that his body should have the skin removed and be encased in white plastic so that he could model on after death.

So now, years after his death, Mr. Nood continues to display himself in all his glory and creep out aspiring art students. His expression is still horrified by Father Birthday's betrayal.... or maybe it's just that no one looks good without skin, no matter how beautiful the human body is.

1 comment:

  1. No kidding. Every time I see an ad for that Human Body 3D traveling exhibit thing . . . gack. I don't need to see dead people with no skin on. Ack ack ack.