Wednesday, March 24, 2010

t3h 3vil

(Note for the un-l33t among you: this is a shameless Megatokyo reference; if you don't feel like digging through more than five (probably way more than five, actually) years of archives to understand this, then just pronounce those threes like delinquent e's.)

The Teacher has a cruel and sadistic personality. She knows that while, in a moment of weakness, I enjoyed Twilight-the-book I despised Twilight-the-movie. When I wasn't hysterically laughing at Edward's hair I was howling at Bella that she was an idiot and deserved to die. Funny how things seem okay in books are really, really stupid in movies. "Oh, Edward, someone just told me that you're a vampire, and you've been hinting that you want to kill me, so come with me into these conveniently placed dark woods where no one will hear me scream because, sigh, I just can't stay away from you..."

Ahem. So you would think that a kind mother, a loving and considerate and above all compassionate mother would NOT put New Moon in the Netflix queue, would NOT put it at the top as soon as it came out and most of all would NOT sit on her daughter and make her suffer through the agonizing stupidity. (Twilight was bad. I'm telling you now, New Moon is worse.)

And you would be quite right. No kind, loving, considerate and above all compassionate mother would do anything of the kind. The Teacher is not that kind of mother, so she had no qualms about committing the crime above mentioned. I howled to the Principal to save me, and he did eventually, but he took his own sweet time doing it. The only reason I escaped the whole movie is that I had school and needed to leave.

I did enjoy the part where the camera circles around Bella sulking her chair and flashes the months on the screen: partly because it was a nice device to show time passing, partly because the music was nice, partly because it was beautiful, and mostly because I enjoy watching people suffer. I'm vindictive that way.


  1. But . . . but . . . at least New Moon has a) way less Edward, and b) Jacob with no shirt on! Come on, have you NO hormones? (; I was in a theater with a bunch of middle-aged moms who all felt like cougars as we sighed over shirtless Jacob (who is less than half our age, for the most part). At least he's in YOUR age bracket. Have you no appreciation? (;

  2. Oh, and by the way, l33t-speak is NOT exclusive to Megatokyo by any means! It's been around since the 80's. See:

  3. I know the author of this blogspot fairly well, and last time I checked, she has very little interest in the sort of things that make most teenage girls flutter and blush. (And squeal/shriek/gush...etc.)

    Although I do not have the same level of indifference, I also have no desire to read/watch the Twilight saga because vampires are a frightening eighteenth century romance concept that chills me to the core.