Monday, September 28, 2009

Something To Look Forward To

I am a writer. I'm not starving, I'm not beaten, and while I am mocked on occasion, I mock back so for the most part people don't pick on me. I'm not very poor and I don't live in a drafty, dusty attic with creaking floorboards (although my room is dusty because I'm too lazy to dust; sometimes I'm too lazy to put my clothes away). I don't have to walk to school in the snow. I don't have to work in a coal mine to earn money for my family. I've never had a traumatizing, scarring experience. I've never had a) an illicit love, b) an unrequited love, or c) a love that died/moved away to never be seen again.

I am obviously seriously handicapped.

I've often agonized over this. How can I be a great writer when I can't be self-pitying with a straight face, when I don't hate anyone, and when I don't look good in black? I have mood swings, but they're never very inspiring. And I'm too practical to work myself into a healthy fit of black despair.

(Being practical is a curse of Titanic proportions when you're trying to court the muse. Or a muse. Any muse will do, I'm not picky.)

And being cursed with reason, I'm not very interested in seeking out a traumatizing, scarring experience.

As a writer, I'm not very writerly.

But! There's something most writers do that I can do to!

(Drum roll.)

I can go on a writing retreat!

Except that I can't drive, and I don't have that much money, and a real retreat would have crowds and would be therefore uncomfortable. I'm not comfortable with crowds.

But I could give myself a writing retreat! I could write by candlelight. I could listen to music over and over and over (not that I don't do that, but I could do it without someone yelling at me, which would be nice). I could make a tent and write under the kitchen table. I could go write in my treehouse. I could (gasp) outline one of my ideas into book form! I could write bad poetry. I could write blog posts for those days when I don't have anything to say. I could break out one of my old first drafts and practice editing. I could write alternate endings to my favorite stories. I could do anything!

(On the more practical side, I could cook all my meals ahead of time so I wouldn't have to stop writing to cook or clean.)

I need to start leaving bed&breakfast pamphlets around the house for my parents. It could take a while for them to get the hint, but I can be very persistent.

1 comment:

  1. I think a writing retreat is a fabulous idea. I hope you can pull it off - I keep thinking I can do a scrapbooking retreat in my own home, but it never seems to work out that way. On the other hand, you don't have kids demanding your constant attention, so it just might WORK! (:

    Oh, and you're hilarious! I'm so glad you can't be self-pitying with a straight face. (; Poor, poor Rachel, who has no blight of her life to spur her writing genius on . . .