Uncomfortable Premonitions

One of my cousins is getting married. Since she's been boy crazy from about, oh, age thirteen, I'm really not surprised. It's sort of funny to listen to the waves this is causing in our family because she's only eighteen. (Wow. Never thought I'd put 'only' and 'eighteen' in the same sentence.) I'm not so concerned about it, because honestly, it's her problem and not mine and it's better to get married young than not to get married at all.

Pretty much during the same time period my cousin was boy-crazy, I was very firmly in the boys-have-cooties camp. (Disclaimer: I no longer believe boys have cooties. At seventeen, I'm a little past that. Now I just think they're from a different planet.) Over the years, I have made certain statements that could be construed as hurtful (if you were a boy and took me seriously, in which case you obviously don't know anything about me), dumb (if you were an adult listening to me) or absolutely hilarious (see last parenthesis.)

I wouldn't be too worried about this because I'm almost certain that whoever I marry won't be someone who knew me then. Except that I have a certain immature aunt (honestly, we don't have enough maturity between us to make one grown-up, responsible person, so we share and take turns being the adult; it works for us) about whom I have some suspicions.

I suspect that she has been keeping a not so little list over the years of all the anti-boy, anti-romance things I've said. I suspect that she's hoarding these innocently-spoken words of mine to turn against me when the time is right (ie, when all the planets are in alignment and I somehow get a boyfriend).

On this list are things I said when I was eleven. And twelve. And thirteen. And fourteen. And, cough, maybe fifteen. Perhaps, cough cough, when I was sixteen as well.

I furthermore suspect that on that list will be this particular misquotation: "I think love makes your brain rot because look how stupid all these people are acting." (Spoken while watching a romance. I don't recall which one. There may have been more than one.)

I think my aunt is a menace and ought to be locked up. For her own good, of course.